So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
