Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
