I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
