I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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