you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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