Will you blow on my dice?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
