I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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