Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
