I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
