i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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