i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
