He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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