so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
