Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
