I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize