Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
