did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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