i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
