The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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