so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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