can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
