is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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