Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
