why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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