I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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