Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
