Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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