Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
