What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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