god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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