Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
