Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
