nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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