im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
