FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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