Texts From Last Night

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  (863): View more from Florida

  haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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  (863): haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people http://tfl.nu/1coi
  Replies (52) Good night (1749) Bad night (1455)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

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  (561): I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes. http://tfl.nu/o56m
  Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (1483)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.

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  (201): just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face. http://tfl.nu/tz6f
  Replies (7) Good night (2686) Bad night (563)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign

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  (856): I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign http://tfl.nu/u6cw
  Replies (9) Good night (3184) Bad night (1111)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.

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  (850): I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over. http://tfl.nu/m507
  Replies (118) Good night (5860) Bad night (6132)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR

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  (918): Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR http://tfl.nu/fkjm
  Replies (22) Good night (4511) Bad night (1303)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.

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  (504): Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit. http://tfl.nu/1p19
  Replies (4) Good night (2559) Bad night (827)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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  (313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p
  Replies (4) Good night (2179) Bad night (1544)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.

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  (847): As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave. http://tfl.nu/cfsr
  Replies (7) Good night (933) Bad night (1002)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

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  (614): your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night http://tfl.nu/piwn
  Replies (6) Good night (939) Bad night (409)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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  (971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3
  Replies (11) Good night (574) Bad night (952)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.

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  (419): I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina. http://tfl.nu/vhcx
  Replies (6) Good night (1179) Bad night (385)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(

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  (406): I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :( http://tfl.nu/1rqk
  Replies (6) Good night (298) Bad night (690)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."

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  (717): He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night." http://tfl.nu/3ltw
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (251)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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  (716): I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/a3ri
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (274)

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