Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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  (201): he wasnt completely random (914): you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont (201): i get things done. http://tfl.nu/5ew9
  Replies (14) Good night (1329) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo

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  (727): My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo http://tfl.nu/tgva
  Replies (38) Good night (845) Bad night (4703)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box

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  (215): You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box http://tfl.nu/kcqr
  Replies (5) Good night (4207) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?

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  (563): Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water? http://tfl.nu/o66m
  Replies (29) Good night (1006) Bad night (4296)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.

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  (757): Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well. http://tfl.nu/ul8d
  Replies (12) Good night (5213) Bad night (1506)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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  (662): I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics http://tfl.nu/lc06
  Replies (9) Good night (1311) Bad night (3206)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

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  (949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b
  Replies (34) Good night (14549) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?

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  (850): When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember? http://tfl.nu/i061
  Replies (6) Good night (2768) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us

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  (715): You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us http://tfl.nu/z8w6
  Replies (9) Good night (3227) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend

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  (706): Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend http://tfl.nu/biar
  Replies (5) Good night (1764) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me

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  (615): Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me http://tfl.nu/3qkc
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together

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  (860): I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together http://tfl.nu/ghj0
  Replies (7) Good night (645) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.

  (1-530): View more from California

  It's like you're the voice of my soul.

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  (530): I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification. (1-530): It's like you're the voice of my soul. http://tfl.nu/xi0i
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.

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  (423): We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers. http://tfl.nu/yz9j
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome

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  (916): On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome http://tfl.nu/qd8h
  Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (302)

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