So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
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it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you