Texts From Last Night

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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I tried to use my car keys to open my door

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  I just started a sentence with yellow.

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  (778): I tried to use my car keys to open my door (1-778): I just started a sentence with yellow. http://tfl.nu/gagl
  Replies (9) Good night (1853) Bad night (684)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Whore.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I was being facetious

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Don't try to hide behind big words.

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  (540): Whore. (832): I was being facetious (540): Don't try to hide behind big words. http://tfl.nu/w180
  Replies (2) Good night (2250) Bad night (767)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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  (847): .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party...... http://tfl.nu/uwbu
  Replies (7) Good night (1575) Bad night (4320)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.

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  (240): just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass. http://tfl.nu/1b7s
  Replies (10) Good night (4867) Bad night (1414)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights

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  (217): Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights http://tfl.nu/27p8
  Replies (21) Good night (3195) Bad night (2576)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.

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  (502): I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept. http://tfl.nu/hraq
  Replies (7) Good night (3484) Bad night (977)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.

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  (409): Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me. http://tfl.nu/r0oo
  Replies (34) Good night (9457) Bad night (2533)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy

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  (901): Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy http://tfl.nu/xs8r
  Replies (7) Good night (2457) Bad night (945)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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  (540): The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth http://tfl.nu/eovp
  Replies (8) Good night (3132) Bad night (774)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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  (803): We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young. http://tfl.nu/kv9f
  Replies (2) Good night (1861) Bad night (629)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away

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  (401): Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away http://tfl.nu/kl70
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (294)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...

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  (603): Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life... http://tfl.nu/r8ks
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (609)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.

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  (586): You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room. http://tfl.nu/ixnv
  Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (333)
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  (315): View more from New York

  you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain

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  (315): you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain http://tfl.nu/5jnk
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.

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  (647): We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present. http://tfl.nu/h55y
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (293)

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