If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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