I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize