For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
