trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
