I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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