but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
