wat bout pragnant strippers??
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
