my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
