omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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