Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
