Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
