you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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