exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
