Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
