i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
