glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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