I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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