Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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