NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
