I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
