need another drink. this is the easiest way
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize