yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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