The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
