Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
