God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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